Beaches are fat men sucking their guts in, wobbly women sucking their gut in, trying to look feminine eating a banana, a hot dog. Beaches are sand in the most unwelcome of places, sticky fingers, beach boards, alcohol, trying on sombreros and dirty thoughts. Teenagers touch either other for the first time but no one will have sex tonight. Husbands and wives walk aloof and alone as awkwardly as if the first time and they’ll forget about sex tonight, with the screaming and the kid. Everyone is wearing sunglasses and there is no sun. A good time is twenty years of Hollywood feel goods in a stinking damp cinema in West London. A good time is smiling while a man with a gut and a beer in his hand leers at your girl. And look, here comes the water and I feel sick.